Lately I've developed a resistance with regard to the idea of getting up at six o'clock every morning, monday through friday. The older I get the more freedom I crave. This whole idea of having to get up, get out, and get something done is really wearing on me. It would be so much nicer to wake up when my body moves me to wake up, instead of having to jump up and hit the ground running. Gee, I am so over it!
But, that is my life, for now. I still have a child at home who has to get to school at a specific time. I've pondered the idea of home schooling, but she is just to social to be stuck at home with me every day. And, the reality is that she really loves school, which is a rare thing for a teenager these days. So, for the next three years I'm stuck with living life in the fast lane.
A big challenge of motherhood is balancing responsibility with personal desire. We are faced constantly with choices. Do I let my daughter walk alone up a dark hill to the bus stop by herself every morning? Or, do I get up and drive her to the bus stop where she meets up with three other friends from her school. There is after all safety in numbers. Am I being overly protective? I think not. Too many children come up missing in this country every day. So, I believe that mine is a wise choice.
In this instance I have to make peace with where I am. All too soon my nest will be empty as my daughter goes out into the world to make a life for herself. So, I give myself a moment or two to whine and complain internally, and then I get up and get on with it. I know that ultimately I am doing good work, and that I will be rewarded with a grownup woman who is happy, healthy and fulfilled in her life.
"Wild Hearts Run Free"
3" X 5"
Color Inks and Gel Pen
on Paper
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